Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Bummer

I feel like balling my eyes out.  I thought I prepared my son for the super bowl.  We weren't doing anything special but it would be a change of routine with the TV. I let my kids know ahead of time (with reminders) that we would be watching the Super Bowl.  Mommy wants to hear the National Anthem and watch the half-time show.  That's all mommy wanted.  Is this what mommy got?  I got half.  Maybe it's too much to expect that one or both of my kids would allow me to watch what I want to watch once in a blue moon.  By the time the half-time show started, my son with autism was screaming and crying and begging to go to bed.  Here's the kicker - my son can't sleep without me in the room with him.  So, he's begging to go to bed right when the Beyonce starts singing.  I say to him "Just 10 mins hun and we can go to bed".  He starts screaming more.  I give him options like - play your game for 10 mins, lay in mommy's bed for 10 mins, daddy can lay with you.  The more I suggested, the more he screamed and cried and it started to grate on my nerves.  I'm not a perfect person and I know that it's not his fault.  But my voice rose a bit and got more stern.  "Honey, just a few more minutes!"  He didn't like that - so his voice got louder and more grating.  Then right when I was getting up to take him to bed, my husband yells "Shut. Up!".  Oh FUCK!  Let's just say that did NOT go over well with me or my son.  It took a while for my son to calm down. He ended up sleeping in my bed and every time I made a move he opened his eyes to be sure I was still there.  Autism is hard.  Autism can suck sometimes.  Parenting is hard and it really sucks sometimes.  My husband and I both caused my son to have an accelerated meltdown; we took him past his limits and I'm so sorry for that.  I swear I only wanted to watch the half-time show but instead I had to de-escalate my son.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Genetic Testing

Not sure if anyone else has done this, but we consulted a genetics counselor to find out if there was a reason my oldest has autism.  No one in my family has autism or any diagnosed sensory issues.  We found out that he tested negative for Fragile X but tested positive for having a Chromosome 22 duplication.  So we can affirm that he was born with this and may face other issues in the future (this is not definite, but we will be more aware of what to look for).  A lot of folks have asked if his autism was the result of vaccinations or other nonsense.  I have always stated that I felt he was born the way he his.  And now I know what I have always known, if that makes sense. 

Now his dad and brother were tested to see if they have the duplication.  The duplication was passed to him by his father or mother.  His brother does not have the duplication.  His dad does not have the duplication either.  We were almost positive that it was from him, only because his dad has ADD, dyslexia and some issues with learning - which are some presenting signs of this syndrome.  Well, turns out our assumptions were incorrect.  I have to be tested now even though it's obvious it's from me.

Anyone else out there done this?  Was it a big deal for you to do this?  When we first were looking for direction on what to do with his diagnosis, it was suggested to us to do the genetic counseling and also to see a neurologist to rule out any seizure activity (he does not have any, thank goodness) and to also have therapy (speech, occupational, and behavioral).  We had these recommendations from the local CMH.

We have done what was suggested for us.  We have made great strides and my oldest has come a long way.  This coming up week we are starting behavioral therapy.  I'm excited yet nervous as we are going to push him out of his comfort zone.  I'm hoping they will be able to help him with his anxiety with potty training and sleeping on his own.  Those are two biggies for me personally.

Hey, sleep much

My oldest is not sleeping tonight.  Not sure why, just isn't.  He's sitting here watching cartoons and it's like he's refreshed from a full nights rest.  He's been up since 7:30 this morning.  Lame!  I realize that we all have those times where we just can't sleep.  He's my son with autism, so I can't allow him to be alone.  Not that he would want to.  If he wakes up, then I have to be up with him.  He's attached me to HIS hip, so to speak.  He has to eat with me, sleep with me, go everywhere with me.  I feel honored that he loves me this much and spends time with me.  But there is a limit.  Mommy needs a little space, kiddo.  I need some "me time", I need time to spend with my husband.  But I guess him being up now has a positive note....I can write a post on my blog.  Haven't done that in a long while. 

Well, I hope I will get some rest before dawn breaks.

Saturday, November 10, 2012


I have two boys who are both obsessive with their thoughts and actions.  Today I had the pleasure of my youngest continuously saying "Go ride camoose? Let's go!"  And this is asked over and over and over.  Sometimes he takes a breath between the same question, sometimes he changes it up by asking it just differently.  The boy is so obsessed with trains - he wants to buy them, play with them, watch them on YouTube, watch them on TV, ride one, etc.  In contrast, my oldest does all the same things except he's AFRAID of them and especially crossing railroad tracks.  It's kind of strange to me how I have two kids who like the same thing but it creates different reactions in them.

My oldest obsessively talked about Harry Potter.  He mainly just talked to himself about Harry Potter - this is a new quirk that has come about in recent months.  It's very concerning sometimes when he spends more time talking to himself then to us.  But I guess I can be grateful that he's talking.

I had a few moment today when both kids were loudly obsessing over each other and I thought I would lose my mind from it.  Sometimes the best part of the day is bedtime :)

Friday, November 9, 2012

Do you worry about others perceptions?

Do you worry what others think of you?  The reason I'm asking this is I had the unfortunate situation where my son was a crazy goose the night of the family fun night, which was very frustrating to my husband and I and the next day he shows up at school with what looks like he was beaten pretty bad.  The parents who saw us the night before took a double take at my son and then gave me the stink eye.  After I picked him up from school, we stopped at the book fair and my little guy took off on me and tried to run out of the school (thankfully a parent stopped him from leaving the building).  I brought him back in and reminded him not to run from me and then he proceeded to run up and down the halls with me yelling/begging him to stop (hence my comment on the previous post that he didn't learn from his running and falling incident). Then to make matters worse later, we went to Walmart and my son through a gigantic screaming raging temper tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted.  There was nothing I could do to stop him from doing this so I ignored it.  I had people giving me the next level of stink eye and some guy was yelling "What the hell is going on?!"  I just kept walking out of the store.  He eventually calmed down half-way home and fell asleep.

It's so surreal to be going through this again - my oldest son who is autistic did the same things when he was that age.  If you go through this too please leave a comment.  I need a pick me up!

Here's a picture of my youngest with his poor face.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Man down!

My three year old was running in the parking lot at school this morning.  I called out to him to walk and to come back to me.  I started my 1-2-3 countdown but he wasn't listening. I jogged up to him and when I went to grab his coat sleeve, he tripped and smacked his head into the pavement.  Holy crap did I freak out!  There was a small cut on his forehead right above the eye and it was bleeding like mad.  I panicked and ran him back to the van, cradling him in my arms.  He looked pretty bad from the blood and scratches, but overall wasn't seriously injured.  I decided to take him him into the school to clean him up.  The principal thought at first he had written marker all over his face but quickly sprung into action when she realized what had happened.

I got him cleaned up, put a bandaid on his cut and asked him if he wanted to go to his class.  He said yes, so we headed into the hallway.  And guess what folks, this little boy started RUNNING to the classroom.  I guess he hasn't yet correlated running = falling and getting hurt.  The teacher gave him a hug and the social worker made sure he was okay too.

As I was leaving the school, I was worried that I made the wrong decision by having him stay.  But I also thought to myself this was natural consequences for running when he was told to walk (but having said that, I don't think he really learned anything).  He didn't seem to be unhappy about staying.  I'm sure the teacher will call me if there is any issues.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Family Fun Night

We went to a family fun night at my kids school. A woman was telling stories and singing songs for preschoolers.  My three year old, when faced with the prospect of being in public with other kids, loves to run amok and go completely ape shit.  So what does this look like?  Running around, trying to play the guitar while the lady is playing said guitar, rifling through her bag of instruments and playing them then completely ignoring the many prompts from parents & other adults.  Let's be honest here, he was being a little shit!  I kept trying to get him involved with the different activities.  We were only there for 30 minutes and by the very end he was running and running and running and just wouldn't stop.  I finally caught him and carried him out to the van and drove him home.